As I was struggling once again with feeling pretty shitty for the last few days I thought I'd try to figure out how my feelings might work
Pic related, the result, is slightly amusing, and it might be pretty inaccurate, but I hope it can help me understand myself better. It is extremely simplified of course.
a -> b means that a "increases" b, for example having work to do increases stress or reading a good book restores energy.
a -x b means that a "decreases" b, like fun decreasing stress, or negativity decreasing energy
This graph expresses a thought I've been having for a while, that stress and negativity create a vicious cycle, which is also constantly getting input from the stuff I have to do. Like for example doing an exam is stressful.
(By active fun I mean fun that requires effort, projects basically. Passive fun is low-energy requiring activities like watching movies)
With fun you don't have such a simple feedback loop: you have to balance out passive and active fun, as too much passive won't make you much happier while too much active will wear you out and turn counter-productive. At the same time energy, the fuel behind active fun is constantly being drained by everything (to be fair, it gets partially refilled every day too)
You don't have a constant favorable stream that can kickstart you like the negative loop has, and the looping is less direct and quick:
Passive fun -> less stress -> more energy in the near future -> more active fun -> less stress and negativity -> more energy in the further future
It might all just be bullshit. But I guess I'll try to take a look at some of the activities I do and try to see how they reflect on this graph, then try to figure out if I can spend my time better
What do you think of this? Am I crazy?
Also, what about you? Do you make plans and graphs about how to better your mood and life? Does it help?
I feel like plans to better my life make me more hopeful and energetic in the short term but on the long run I always give up/forget about it.. However I can't just give up, can I?