Anonymous 09/09/20 (Wed) 05:12:36 No. 3113 [ D]
Original, hand-crafted copypasta; The perfect present for a wedding, christening, new baby, birthday, anniversary, retirement, mother’s day, thank you, school reunion - any occasion you can think of! Our copypastas are each individually handcrafted by a skilled and dedicated chef and guaranteed to be of the highest quality.
These beautiful and decorative copypastas are hand-crafted from crushed and powered words bound up with only the finest pasta. Every copypasta is completely hand made, from the basic raw materials through to the finished product every process is carried out by hand. The only exception is a cleaning and polishing process in which the copypasta is put through special machines. Even these machines have been developed for particular use in the preparation of the copypasta, for, although the copypasta is quite durable, fine details such as noses, horses ear's, swords, daggers and flag staffs could be snapped of if treated too roughly. The National Association of Copypasta Chefs (NACC) is dedicated to protecting artists and crafters - their work, creativity and intellectual properties and marketing rights. I believe to keep the true work of the artist and copypasta chef alive we must act to promote and protect our art and craft. Your Fortune: You will meet a dark handsome stranger
Anonymous 09/09/20 (Wed) 05:22:25 No. 3114 [ D] [ DF]
Excuse me good sir, how much do they cost?
Anonymous 09/09/20 (Wed) 09:44:13 No. 3115 [ D] [ DF]
Palindrome digits, nice
People sometimes reply to me with "is this pasta?", does that mean that I'm a NACC certified chef?
twoot twoot undercover 09/09/20 (Wed) 09:46:41 No. 3117 [ D] [ DF]
how much do they cost, fine sir
Anonymous 09/09/20 (Wed) 10:59:15 No. 3120 [ D] [ DF]
How much for a dozen, kind sir? I've got a lot of birthdays coming up,
Anonymous 09/11/20 (Fri) 01:02:09 No. 3129 [ D] [ DF]
Very nice except for the text of the pasta itself
Anonymous 09/13/20 (Sun) 17:38:02 No. 3136 [ D] [ DF]
This is a story about a man name Grungles who lives under a bridge in the City of Lies. You see, the City of Lies is divided by a river and three bridges cross this river: The Bridge of Hate, The Bridge of Wrath, and The Bridge of Treachery. As for where these bridges got their names, well that is a whole different tale.
Long before the city stood on this spot, the river marked the edge of the known world, or at least what was thought to be "the civilized world." Truth is the civilized people always knew there was more to the world and there were those who knew more still. Indeed, they had contact with a savage people. One who would visit from far beyond the river, for they had access to some method of crossing the vast desert. A method that eluded the civilized people. And these savages would come, sometimes to trade furs and ores. But, other times, they would come to raid. And, with the bones of raided livestock, the built three bridges so as to ease their coming and going. And they cursed these bridges, so that the civilized people would never come near. And, these bridges, they named: The Bridge of Hate, The Bridge of Wrath, and the Bridge of Treachery. Now here is where we come back to Grungles. Because he was hunting, one day, for nutria rats and his javelin found its way on the other side of the river. And he went to retrieve his javelin, fearing how he would survive without it. And he braced for some debilitating curse but none befell him and, for the first time, he began to question the magic of the savages. And, as he did, vast fertile fields, strewn with clean waterways, revealed themselves to him. For the desert had been an illusion. So Grungles went to the king with this information: that to defeat the magic of the savages, you need only to stop fearing it. And the word spread. And the illusion disappeared. And the new frontier was open to be civilized. So the king's army hunted down the savages and exterminated them and they plowed over the fertile fields and built cities and airports. And on the spot where Grungles first broke the curse, the king tore down those bridges of bone and replaced them with bridges of marble, but they kept their former names. And he founded a city there: The City of Lies, to remind the people of the trickery of the savages. And he named Grungles lord of this city and its surrounding country. But soon after, this king was usurped by a man from a far more powerful family. And this new king hated Grungles because he dressed like a bird and walked around bobbing his head and dancing and singing in a fake watermelon addict accent, which was all unbecoming of a noble. So he revoked all of Grungles' titles and banished him to the slums. Now, it is said that Grungles makes his home under one of these three bridges. Or perhaps all three. And he waits under there in quiet vigil, feasting on rats. And, whenever he finds the opportunity, he swipes a little girl from the bridge and has sex with her.
Anonymous 09/15/20 (Tue) 16:01:26 No. 3146 [ D] [ DF]
Why the bird costume?
Anonymous 09/15/20 (Tue) 22:55:41 No. 3148 [ D] [ DF]
For ancient history of the Jews, we really have only two sources, based off oral tradition and steeped in fables and allegories. One, being the bible, has been rewritten so often that we cannot confirm with any certainty how well our modern bible represents the ancient scriptures (which are thought to have been written down thousands of years after Abraham).
So, let us look at that long span of time in between Abraham and the point where most think the bible was actually first written. We are meant to believe that a single man migrated out of Chaldea and, with his followers, formed allegiance with the Southern Canaanites, yet no actual proof exists of this, nor is there any mention of his descendants in records from Egypt despite several mentions of Southwestern and Arabian Semites. Following the supposed Exodus, we are meant to believe that Joshua formed an alliance with Southern Canaanites again and conquered a large portion of land. But no other Semitic cultures in the area mention these supposed invaders, nor is there any proof outside of the scriptures to confirm anything mentioned in the Book of Judges. The great rival of the Jews in this time (the Philistines) also receive to mention from any cultures in the area. The only evidence we have of the time period that spans from King Saul to King Zechariah is one clay tablet mentioning the House of David which is of dubious origin. Proof of the Jews' time in Babylon? None. Mention of Jews from any of the Persians who supposedly freed the Jews from Babylon? None. No, they just simply appear out of thin air, occupying a key region of the Seleucid Empire just in time to revolt at a moment when the Romans needed to gain that region during a conflict. Following this, the general Pompey reports requesting talents from them and entering the temple which was supposed to have been destroyed a millennium earlier under Zechariah. How do we know that the Jews aren't just a Roman invention, when a people with such a long history, ingrained in the development of the Levant, were first mentioned by the Romans? Now let's talk about our second source: The Antiquities of the Jews, which is a Greek translation of the scriptures penned by the Roman historian Josephus, who claimed to be a Jew. The differences between that book and the modern bible are so glaring, there is no doubt that the bible has been altered several times. The Josephus version of Exodus describes Moses as an Egyptian general who talked to birds and conquered Ethiopia. So who rewrote the bible so many times? Satan? The CIA? We will never know because all of our other historical sources have been muddied, probably by the CIA or Satan. Throughout the Middle Ages and into the modern era all mentions of Jews are pure hearsay, but none have ever been pictured or even described. NOBODY IN HISTORY HAS EVER ACTUALLY SEEN A JEW. Sure, there are those public figures and even people we personally know who claim to be Jews. But there is no proof they are not actually part of the CIA. Furthermore, all synagogues could have been built by the CIA (this includes the ruins of Herod's Temple). So that raises the question: Does the Jews is Actually Real?
Anonymous 09/15/20 (Tue) 23:13:50 No. 3149 [ D] [ DF]
>>3113 >Does the jews is
Anonymous 09/16/20 (Wed) 22:17:19 No. 3152 [ D] [ DF]
Oh yes, i think this is needed in order for me to live
1 : go in a populated area
2: hide near a bush or something
3: (a little while beforehand, train the local crows to follow me, and when i play a tune on the flute they swarm around me)
4 : jump out with the flute and play
5 : as the crows start swarming yell
> "I AM A MONUMENT TO ALL YOUR SINS CAW CAW CAW" Those normalfags will regret the day they where born