/b/ - >wake up>eat breakfast>brush teeth>notice the roof of my mouth and tip of my tongue are slightly bleeding and very sore>inspect>many small pin-prick wounds in my mouth>shrug it off>try to take a shid>poot out a few tiny turdlets>intestine


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File: doom scale.jpg (20.45 KB, 474x266, 237:133, 1597416735602.jpg) [Show in Hex Viewer] [Reverse Image search]

 No.8836[D]

>wake up
>eat breakfast
>brush teeth
>notice the roof of my mouth and tip of my tongue are slightly bleeding and very sore
>inspect
>many small pin-prick wounds in my mouth
>shrug it off
>try to take a shid
>poot out a few tiny turdlets
>intestines start cramping
>step on scale
>2.5 kg heavier than yesterday morning
something big is coming, will keep you all posted

 No.8837[D][DF]

Are you gonna die, anon?

 No.8838[D][DF]

>>8837
I don't think so, unless this mean an alien fugged my face while i was asleep. that could get ugly

 No.8839[D][DF]

alright lads my tummy's been cramping through the day and now i'm feeling like it might be Time to take a shid. see you on the other side

 No.8840[D][DF]

File: 1552835225919-2123525917.jpg (136.56 KB, 300x300, 1:1, 1597438644106.jpg) [Show in Hex Viewer] [Reverse Image search]

i couldn't shid

 No.8841[D][DF]


 No.8842[D][DF]

>>8836
>>8839
>>8840
All of these could be symptoms of anxiety. Are you a hypochondriac?

 No.8850[D][DF]

>>8842
i have been stressed as fucc lately
>this was supposed to be a funny thread where i detail my shid odyssey but i still haven't shat and now its turning into a feels threadt

 No.8851[D][DF]

>>8850
That's a long time to not shid. Once I didn't fart for 5 days and it became very painful as the gas built up. Don't try to push it out or you may pop a blood vessel. Just sit on the toilet, relax and play a phone game. If you go to the doctor, they'll shove a hose up your ass and charge you thousands of dollars.

 No.8854[D][DF]

File: 1979845bd52bda7df763fff33a….jpg (25.65 KB, 500x375, 4:3, 1597558348249.jpg) [Show in Hex Viewer] [Reverse Image search]

Did anon ever shid?

 No.8857[D][DF]

File: hero hunny.gif (294.08 KB, 500x300, 5:3, 1597604356285.gif) [Show in Hex Viewer] [Reverse Image search]

>>8854
Just did. One smooth, coherent turd, over a foot long. Burned a bit coming out, but I've been taking fiber chews so it didn't tear me apart. I relaxed just like >>8851 said and didn't force it
Thank you everyone for your support.

 No.8860[D][DF]

File: 90d42e8870c93a034eaf8d838….jpeg (41.39 KB, 694x405, 694:405, 1597616139210.jpeg) [Show in Hex Viewer] [Reverse Image search]

>>8857
Congratulations.



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