/b/ - Random


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>wake up
>eat breakfast
>brush teeth
>notice the roof of my mouth and tip of my tongue are slightly bleeding and very sore
>many small pin-prick wounds in my mouth
>shrug it off
>try to take a shid
>poot out a few tiny turdlets
>intestines start cramping
>step on scale
>2.5 kg heavier than yesterday morning
something big is coming, will keep you all posted


Are you gonna die, anon?


I don't think so, unless this mean an alien fugged my face while i was asleep. that could get ugly


alright lads my tummy's been cramping through the day and now i'm feeling like it might be Time to take a shid. see you on the other side


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i couldn't shid



All of these could be symptoms of anxiety. Are you a hypochondriac?


i have been stressed as fucc lately
>this was supposed to be a funny thread where i detail my shid odyssey but i still haven't shat and now its turning into a feels threadt


That's a long time to not shid. Once I didn't fart for 5 days and it became very painful as the gas built up. Don't try to push it out or you may pop a blood vessel. Just sit on the toilet, relax and play a phone game. If you go to the doctor, they'll shove a hose up your ass and charge you thousands of dollars.


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Did anon ever shid?


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Just did. One smooth, coherent turd, over a foot long. Burned a bit coming out, but I've been taking fiber chews so it didn't tear me apart. I relaxed just like >>8851 said and didn't force it
Thank you everyone for your support.


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